I didn’t finish my orange juice at breakfast, so I brought the cup back to the hotel room. I sat on the bed and drank the rest of it slowly. There was a lot to think about. I thought about what you told me the night before, and I wanted to talk to you about it, but I realized it was probably best to wait for you to bring it up again.
I didn’t have to wait long. When you came back from your morning walk around 57th Street, you sat down at the desk and turned the chair to face me. I set my empty cup on the nightstand and listened. “We’re not in high school anymore.” There were dark circles under your eyes, and I realized you, too, hadn’t slept much last night. “First violin, second violin. Which one? That always meant so much to me. But we’re not in high school anymore. I realized that yesterday. There’s no more point in competing. Neither of us are going into music. There’s literally no point in this going on. I realized that yesterday. You could play the first violin part just as well as me, but it doesn’t even matter. There’s literally no point. I thought about it last night, and I realized that the reason I liked you in high school was because your playing had character, and you yourself had character, but I was more like a robot when I played. There were all these emotions I wanted to show in my own playing, but they never came out. That’s why I didn’t pursue music. It was because, in the end, music was always just for college. But here I am still playing music on the side, and it was supposed to be something fun. But we’re still competing, aren’t we?” I realized you were right. I said, “Today, let’s play Ysaÿe for fun, then.”
Last night’s snow had turned into a light rain. The clouds were parting to reveal a stretch of blue sky. It was going to be one of those beautiful chilly days. The Juilliard professor wanted us at one o’clock. I wanted to walk there today, because I wanted to breathe in the cold, fresh air and feel it against my face. You said that was fine with you. It would take twenty minutes to walk to Juilliard from our hotel, so we had a little over two hours to practice. Our piece was the Ysaÿe Sonata for Two Violins in A Minor. I waited for your cue. We continued watching each other, even after you broke off from the G string to play your E-string melodies.