Anatomy of Love
Breaking the verglas over your smile was just as beautiful as your
Candor was unexpected. I was watching the sunlight trailing across the
Dull walls. The morning felt so honest, and the air was so fresh that
Even the window you said was irreparably broken felt reborn under the
Final verdict of nature. The breeze seemed to say, here is where you
Grew up fractured, but here is where you will learn to love again. We
Heard your father start his old pickup truck, and, as he drove away,
In that incredible moment, something came to you, and you let me
Join you in your solitude. In that incredible moment, I learned how to
Know you, and your anguish, and your peace. Your tears left behind
Limpid brown eyes that reflected the sunlight and me. The window
Made a whistling sound as the breeze picked up a little, and there was
Nothing to do but sit there in the warmth of each other, in the newness
Of being known, and the wonder of being thrust into a world where
Perhaps the doors weren’t locked, and walking carried you far from the
Quandaries of a room with a broken window and no warmth. Where,
Rather than her fragile voice, there was your own, echoing against the
Salience of yourself. The sky here was bright and clear, so I went up
To the window and opened it, and the daylight chilled my throat. You
Understood and came over, and the sun painted your cheeks in wonderful
Vividness. Then we went back to the bed and talked for hours. We
Were still sitting there when the others called us away, and then that
Xanadu in your mind shut its door so abruptly it was almost physical.
Your laughter became lilting, even as you asked me how I had so much
Zest for life. I told you the only truth in the world. That it was because
Your embrace was more like home than I’d ever known. You were like a
Xenocrystic diamond formed under the impossible pressures of all our
Weaknesses. From then on, I wore your love like a ring, and, in my
Veins, there was the glow of your watchfulness. All the joy was almost
Utopian in its foreignness. And we called each other family. We were so
Thoroughly intertwined it felt only right. Before my concerts, we’d
Sometimes return to that soporific room, where the sunlight felt like
Reverence, and the window had been fixed, and I realized it was so
Quiet. There was moulding where the ceiling met the walls, and the
Pride on your face told me it was your final promise to her, the one who
Occupied your dreams and weighed down your conscience. But, here,
Nobody would find your secrets. I saw an array of neat boxes, packed and
Moved into a corner. I turned to you, and you were holding up a crimson
Logo that spelled your future. We stood there for a moment, and then I
Knocked you over with a hug that said more than words could ever do
Justice. You left a few months after that. I watched you drive away, then
I spent the next few years grasping at the threads of communication, so
Hollow it was like a burn on the tip of my tongue, cooling embers of the
Gaiety of your love. But when the cardinal sang, it all came back to me as I
Finally saw you standing there in front of the door, arms open wide, with an
Effulgent smile, and I wanted to cry. This home, it was our nexus that ran
Deep, like a well that could only grow. In this incredible moment, it was so
Colorful. The birds were chirping, and the wind was singing. It was like a
Ballade that started with the iciest whisper of a connection, then burgeoned,
And, in your arms, I realized that this unwavering love was always home.